One last goodbye to Ted Stevens

The AP, CNN, and NYTimes have all called Alaska's Senate seat for Mark Begich, meaning that the single worst Senator in the country, Ted Stevens, is going to be a private citizen as of Jan. 1st. But let us not forget what we have lost:


Or if you prefer your news Stewart-style:


Adieu Stevens. You will be missed.

As for you Mark Begich: well, you're the first Democratic senator from Alaska since Mike Gravel. That's some mighty big shoes to fill. I mean, the guy did leak the Pentagon Papers and all, but that's not what I'm talking about. If history is any guids, in 30 years Mark Begich will be doing this:

CNN commits journalistic malpractice

Sarah Palin is apparently accusing Obama of being friends with, gasp, a Palestinian! And not just any ole Palestinian, but a leading Palestinian academic who wrote the book on the history of Palestinian Identity. Now I'm not going to rant about the (de)merits of this accusation. But I will rant on CNN's reporting of it. Take the following sentence:

Khalidi has been a harsh critic of U.S. foreign policy toward Israel and has accused the country of "occupying" Palestinian territories.

Now for starters, CNN needs to learn how to write. From the writing, it is unclear whether "the country" of the second clause refers to Israel or the U.S.

Holy crap! He accuses Israel of occupying the Palestinian territories? Let's see if we can drum up any other radical terrorist-oriented groups that consider Israel as being an occupying force:

• The United Nations
• The European Union
• The International Committee of the Red Cross
  
• The U.S. Government (yes, including the Bush Administration)
  
• Every Government of Israel since Ariel Sharon

Seriously. Does CNN even try anymore? From now on, I only watch FoxNews!

Way Too Far

I am sick and tired of these gutter politics. These insane, baseless attack ads, these horrid accusations, and these Washington politicians that will say and do anything to win, without any regard for the social fabric of our nation.

Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy the political season. You want to tell me McCain can't send an email. Fine. You want to tell me Barack Obama is a terrorist who wants to molest your children. Fine. But there are limits. And this is just a Bridge to Nowhere too far. The Communist Times is reporting:

Speaking before the Alaska governor was Shonda Schilling, wife of the Red Sox right-hander Curt Schilling. While Curt hasn’t pitched all year because of an injured shoulder, his wife was happy to pitch John McCain and Ms. Palin at Salem High School. She compared supporters of Barack Obama to that most heinous of hardball partisans, Yankee fans (”Boooo”).

“They’re good people,” Mrs. Schilling said graciously of Obama supporters. “They just root for the wrong team.”

Now let's get one thing straight. The BoSox don't support no Palin-McCain administration! The Red Sox believe in the Change we Need, like a Change from the evil of the New York Yankees. Now I'm not trying to claim that the BoSox actively support Obama, but just that the sacred realm of baseball should never be mixed up with the profane world of politics.

Fuckers.

YOU ROCK!!!

I probably should have known about this earlier...

About Freaking Time!

Post Coming up about Chavez when I get the time too!

Obama Strategy Memo

Dear Barack Obama:

Look. I know that the polls right now are in bounce mode and that you are getting all sorts of unjustified panic-style criticism, most of which is probably undeserved. And far be it from this blog to fan the flames with any gross sarcasm or crude humor, but I thouht I'd take this time to give out a little free advice that I am sure no one will read.

Stop trying to tie McCain to Bush. It isn't working and its not going to work. Especially when you make teh argument using what can best be described as "fuzzy math" (Yes, some random organization claimed McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time, but Biden voted with Bush 70% of the time).

Instead, take a lesson from 2004 and start trying to tie John McCain to John McCain. He has been in the senate for how long? And how many stupid things has he said during that time? Bring them back up. All of them. His statements of Roe, his Savings and Loans scandal, taxes, etc, etc, etc.

The simple fact is that people don't know John McCain. They think McCain and they think about his recent anti-earmarks and campaign finance reform. A fair number of people still think McCain is pro-choice for Christ's sake! America doesn't really know what a John McCain presidency would look like.

Show them.

McCain successfully rallied his base with the Palin pick, so there's no worrying about energizing his base by painting him as an extreme conservative. And it fits beautifully into this "McCain is out of touch with America" line that is probably the Obama team's best attack line of the campaign so far. So get cracking.

XOXO,
Jonah

Does John McCain have Graphic Designers on the Payroll?

First off, to my one fan, sorry the posts have been so (nonexistantly) slow lately. Things have been busy on my side, and mostly n other lanuages.

Secondly, does John McCain have a graphic designer on the payroll? Look, I'm not saying that political campaigns are won and lost on aesthetics alone, but as anyone familiar with the infamous Kennedy-Nixon debate, or for that matter the first two Bush-Gore debates, can tell you appearance in politics matters. Hell, its one of the reasons why shorter cnadidates always negotiate for higher platforms during standing debates, so America perceives them as being the same height as their opponent.

Now we all know that Brand Obama has been phenomenal. I mean, you know it took some top-tier Madison Avenue graphic designer to design this:



This is admittadly a minor detail of a political campaign, but one that should not be dismissed, particularly by Democrats. Case in point, Walter Mondale's 1988 political logo:As pointed out in some NPR story rom a while back that I am too lazy to dig up, Mondale's biggest mistake was making Ferraro's name as large as his own. In addition to just being a bland design, you an;t really tell by looking at it who is meant to be President and who is teh Veep (or is it just some dude named "Mondale Ferraro" running? Sounds like a good name for a mid-morning talk show).

Now today, Sen. John McCain named Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his Veep candidate. It's a really weird choice, not least of which is that it undercuts his most successful line of attack against Obama: that he is unready to lead. Can Obama really be called inexperienced if a 72 year old man (happy birthday today) with a history of health problems chooses Palin to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency? But this is an aside. What concerns me, as you have probably guessed by now is the logo.

Now before we look at McCain-Palin gear, let's take a look at how the pros do it:

Notice the sexy. In addition to all the tradition Obama-logo elements, Biden's name is slightly smaller and is light blue, deemphasizing Biden. You look at this thing and you immediately know who is in charge. Conservative bloggers site this as evidence of Obama's alleged ego:

The font color was a deliberate choice by the designers. Why not both names in stark white, the better to be seen clearly? It’s almost as though the Obama campaign wants to de-emphasize Biden

Holy Crap! A Presidential campaign placing more emphasis on the guy who will be President than the one who will be mostly going to state funerals? Cuh-razy.

Now let's take a look at McCain-Palin logo:

OK. So you got the McCain military-star logo (although MR never tires of pointing out the disturbing similarity to the McCain food company logo). But then you have the candidates names in the exact same size. Palin is already a gifted and energetic speaker -- two things McCain is not. Why in the world would you make a logo like this for a candidate who, if she doesn't trip up on the big stage -- already has the potential to overshadow you in public speaches?

Admittadly, the lighter background near Palin's name is a nice touch to the whole thing, drawing the eye upwards a bit towards the McCain name, but then the bottom third is a big blue mess with URL. It's sort of like they glued two different button together. Weird.

Anyways, I know its not the biggest thing in the world, and I'm no expert in graphic design: just my two cents. But hey, if you wanted reasoned, serious political analysis you would have gone to FoxNews.

An Awesome Birthday Present

Dear America:

Thank you for the awesome birthday present. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but if I could ask one thing it would be that you continue these trends through November.

Love,
J

(allof the following are courtesy of pollster.com, the best way for a news-obsessed junkie to procrastinate)

American Research Group

New Hampshire
Obama 51, McCain 39

Florida
Obama 49, McCain 44

Public Policy Polling (D)

Virginia
Obama 47, McCain 45
Sen: Warner (D) 59, Gilmore (R) 28

Zogby/Reuters

National
Obama 47, McCain 42

Quinnipiac University

Florida
Obama 47, McCain 43

Ohio
Obama 48, McCain 42

Pennsylvania
Obama 52, McCain 40

Lies! Damn Lies and Statistics!

As an avid reader of the news, I've recently taken to following the constant train of polls on this election. Now polling is tricky. Some polls, like the national McCain v. Obama or McCain v. Clinton polls are certainly meaningless at this point in the election. And other polls that should have been meaningful, like the NH and IA polls, just plain sucked. But at least they sucked consistently. What drves me nuts is the polls coming out of PA. For those of you not quite as crazy as I am on this, here is a rundown of the last few days of polling in PA, courtesy of pollster.com (the table is date/ sample size/ Clinton/ Obama/ undecided):

InsiderAdvantage	4/8/08	681 LV	48	38	13
PPP (D)	4/7-8/08	1124 LV	46	43	11
Rasmussen	4/7/08	730 LV	48	43	9
SurveyUSA	4/5-7/08	597 LV	56	38	2
ARG	4/5-6/08	600 LV	45	45	6

So let's see Clinton is up by 10 points, 3 points, 5 points, 18 points, or not at all. Now look: I'm as big of a fan of the margin of error as anyone. But these are absurd! Especially since the "undecided" column really doesn't differ that much between the tied poll and the 18 point lead poll, nor between the ten and three point poll.

I think maybe all of Pennsylvania is just fucking with us. Like they had a big meeting and they said: "hey y'all. Know what would be hella-tight? If, like, a fifth of the state decided to answer pollster's questions differently just for the hell of it. That'll keep 'em guessing!"

(So I don't know what PA slang is like. So what?).

How I will be occupying my time, until March 4th

Slate has come out with the single greatest time wasting device any political junky could ever wish for.

Check it out.

What does this quote mean?

<--What and uncanny resemblance!

NYTimes is running yet another article on the latest opinion polls. I guess they finally realized that numbers don't tell you everything, so they are doing follow up interviews with certain respondents to supplement the polls. Here's what one Obama supporter had to say:

“He’s from Illinois, and I’m from Illinois, and he reminds me of Abraham Lincoln,” said Dylan Jones, 53, a laborer from Oxford, N.C., who was interviewed in a follow-up to the poll. “I can see him out there splitting rails. I don’t have anything against Hillary Clinton, so I guess it’s because he’s new blood.”

Um...did you know Abraham Lincoln? I mean, I'm a fan of the O as well, but he reminds you of Abraham Lincoln? Just how old are you, Dylan Jones of Oxford, NC, anyway?

Seriously, can anyone tell me what this means?

Bonus points for the first one to do a good Lloyd Bentsen imitation.

Join the Comitte for Minimal Democracy Today!

**WARNING** **WARNING** **CODE RED**

This is an urgent telegram to all supporters of the Minimal Democracy Movement (MDM) //



It appears that Ralph Nader is running for President// I repeat, Ralph Nader is running for President//

Mr. Nader represets the greatest threat to the MDM ever, ever// He got 411,304 votes, roughly 1%, in the last election// Even worse: he got 2.74% of the vote in 2000. That makes him solely responsible for the loss of a sitting vice-president of a wildly popular administration// This madman must be stopped// This time, he may garner upwards of .5% of the vote//

Supporter of MDM// Gather your gear and stop this man before Americans have more than the minimal number of candidates possible!// We must protect our minimal democracy, lest it become a full-fledged democracy!

** End Transmission**

Seriously people, what's with all the Nader Hate? You just put an irrlevant man into his third day in the news cycle.