Analysis of the First Democractic Debate

I know this doesn't quite fall under "news", but I do say "unless something else is on my mind".

So, tonight was the first of a yet to be determined number of Democratic debates leading up to the primaries. Why they are doing a debate so early is a good question, but they are so let's just accept it and have ome fun. After some grave technical difficulties stemming from MSNBC's hatred of Macs, I finally got to catch the late night showing on MSNBC's website. And here is my take.

The Winners:

1) Sen. Hillary Clinton
I'm not a big fan of Hildog. I think she would make a poor candidate and a worse President. But at the end of the day, she was the only candidate on that stage who sounded Presidential. She was articulate, clear, and stood out from the crowd. Perhaps her best moment though, was in discussing Virginia Tech and Columbine. By showing a bit of emotion when discussing those shootings, she did something no one else managed to do: look human.



2) MSNBC's Brian Williams

This man had the unenviable job of moderating a debate between nine people, only three of whom anyone cares about. And you know what? He actually did a pretty good job. Clinton, Edwards, and Obama (in that order) got the most time to speak, but the minor candidates were not ignored.

And his questions weren't half-bad either. A little tougher than your average softball debate questions, but not so tough as to create animosity. In fact, the only reason he doesn't beat out Clinton Deuce is his poor time management skills. Did you really expect anyone to just give a name to the "Who is you ideal living Supreme Court Justice" question, Brian?

3) Fmr. Sen. Mike Gravel: This is sort of a win by default situation. I'm going to assume that most of my readers are under 60 years old, and therefore most of you have never heard of this man before. Now you have.

But Gravel took it one step further than simply having a pulse and standing on the stage for 90 minutes looking pretty. The man was a ranting machine. He combined the funnest parts of Al Sharpton, Dennie Kucinich, and Ralph Nader and rolled them all up into a single ball of old-man moaning:


Cussing, ranting at opponents, and accusing the country you are trying to lead of being a nuclear proliferator? Oh man do I love this guy! But wait, it actually gets better. Get ready for one of the greatest moments in the history of Presidential politics:

Joe Biden. Consider yourself served.

Treading Water:

4) Fmr. Sen. John Edwards: A $400 haircut and he still can't stand out in a crowd. Edwards was fine, stuck to his talking points, and was relatively coherant. But he didn't really do anything to distinguish himself.

5) Sen. Chris Dodd: When you are on the bottom of the pile, do you really have anywhere to go? He is a joke. He entered the debate a joke. He left the debate a joke.

The Losers:

6) Sen. Joe Biden: OK. So he did give the best answer of the entire debate. And I know that he is a joke too, and like Dodd does not have much room to fall. But oh lord did he sound awful! I mean, take this exchange from the transcripts of the debate:

[MODERATOR:] Senator Biden, the kind of flip side of the
question I just asked Senator Clinton: What could the federal government have
done to save those kids at Virginia Tech?

BIDEN: Shotgun -- not pistol.

I watched that exchange three times and I still have no idea why Biden said that. Not the best orator.

Also, could it be any clearer that this man is trying to run for the position of Obama's Veep?

7) Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Now I have a soft spot for Dennis. I mean, look at this picture. He actually manages to make Cindy Sheehan look tall!

For Christ's sake, the man makes Cindy Sheehan look tall! And, to be fair, he did precisely what darkhorse candidates are supposed to do. He picked a fight with Clinton and tag teamed on Obama.

But he got shown up. Mike Gravel totally stole your thunder.

And this is how you know there are too many candidates running. There is actually a competition between two people to see who will be that candidate who can say whatever is on his mind because he has no chance at winning.

8) Sen. Barak Obama: Barack Obama. I wanna be, your baby's momma. But boy, you had better get ready for the big show, and fast!

Full disclosure: Barak is my man. I am standing firm behind him. But he sounded just awful last night. Here is his real problem: the man is a great speaker. But when you have 60 seconds you simply do not have time to pick your words carefully. How many "ums" and "ers" do we need before you can just spit it out.

Obama has not mastered the soundbite yet and he is not quick with the responses. While these are great characteristics for a President, it makes for a piss poor candidate. Standing next to Clinton last night, he looked immature and unready. And his haircut looked bad too.

9) Gov. Bill Richardson: Not only did he sound awful, but he looks like he is going to eat your children. Check it out, if you dare.

EDIT: The BBC more or less agrees with me.